Nobody enters in to a committed relationship believing that it will “fail”. We all go in to relationships with hope and yearning. Yet we often end up feeling lonely, resentful and out of ideas on how to fix things. Research has shown that couples wait an average of seven years between the time they know something is wrong before they seek help! That’s an average – which means we allow deeply hurtful patterns to become established in our relationship and the damage this causes can sometimes mean it’s too late to reconnect and find the warmth in our relationship.
Relationship discord often contains the following features:
Recurring conflict about the same things
Feeling criticized, insulted and blamed
Fearful of your partner’s anger
Loneliness
Infidelity
Silent treatment
Lack of affection and physical connection
I help couples change these patterns by utilizing the following strategies:
Learning how to bring things up without blame
Helping you resolve key issues in your relationship – and letting others go
Banishing the destructive patterns of blame, criticism, threat and silence
Deescalating destructive cycles of conflict
Helping each partner express their needs and emotions
Encouraging a new way of hearing your partner
Making the relationship and time spent together a priority
The rewards of effective couples’ therapy are:
Enhanced intimacy and closeness
Increased expression of fondness and admiration
Respectful communication
Manage and resolve conflict more effectively
Understand your partner’s emotional needs
Greater ability to be vulnerable with your partner